Its time for the tough one

Man, it's a tough one. Having loved ones and friends who are gay has really opened my eyes to the civil rights argument and how important it is to love one another and how essential equality is in our lives. Biancs and I often would argue about the very topic of gay marriage, gay rights, etc...She would always say that we have no right to intrude on their lives and that they can make their own decisions, and 'how would you feel?' if the government told you how to live/who to love/ and if you could get married. Wow, what a good argument. (i'm not being sarcastic, here..) The things is, is that I agree. I'm all about civil rights and equality. I love my friends and family members who are gay and lesbian and I want them to be happy too. I agree.

But, there is more to my thoughts and feelings; there has to be. As a religious person I am not being discriminatory...so don't pull that card on me. I respect those I love that do not believe the same as I do, and therefore I am requesting the same respect from my fellow friends who are not religious. Often people state that we can't bring religious beliefs into political arguments because people don't believe the same things. I think thats crap. Often your religious background provides the standards and beliefs that lead your life and therefore how you want to live your life....and that is okay. Something has to be the foundation for your life and your thought processes and whether that is religion or not it should not and does not matter. The fact is, is that you have an opinion and that opinion should be respected. And that. is. okay.

So, i am torn.

I fully support civil rights. I fully support respecting one's opinion whether based on a religious foundation or not. I have several non-LDS friends, and friends that are athiest or agnostic. Man, isn't that awesome that we can have these close friendships with people from various backgrounds and still enjoy one another and have long conversations about our differences and yet still rejoice in the similarities that draw us closer together?

Well, what i'm struggling to say here is that if I lived in CALIFORNIA I would be voting YES for prop 8.
I'm not ashamed and I would like to discuss with anyone who tells me that I am closed minded or ridiculous or ignorant or rude or that I don't love my friends that are gay/lesbian. don't you get it? You believe one thing and I believe another...and that is okay. Lets respect one another and rejoice that we have the right to believe two different things.

I believe in equality, but I also believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I believe that loving one another is vital and what my God wants me to do. But I also believe that He wants me to share the truth that I have been taught my entire life. This isn't me versus them. This is about standing up for what I believe in my heart, and that is okay. I believe that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and is an essential part to His plan. I believe that same sex partnership is not marriage and yet I believe it is great and necessary that they have civil rights and can be respected and loved by the people of this nation.

Okay, thats all i've got for now.
No need to tell me that religion isn't 'enough' when it comes to a political argument because that just won't fly for me. I enjoy politics and I am probably one of the most patriotic persons you will ever meet and I am so grateful for this nation. Man, you have no idea the incredible blessings we have here until you leave for a while and live in a completely different world...(AFRICA!!!)

Marriage is important to me. Marriage between a man and woman is how I define that. And that is okay. We can share our opinions with one another with respect and love. I'm not taking away someone else's rights by believing this so don't try and tell me that I am.

Sorry about the rant...Here is the letter I enjoyed reading...


My sister emailed me this letter below from a friend... I feel like it is a good summary of my thoughts on Prop 8, please read.....


Hi everyone,

I am forwarding you some informaiton and videos that I feel is was important to send out this out regarding a controversial proposition to be voted on next month. When I first head about proposition 8, I really didn’t have all the details... However, when I investigated the matter further, I realized that voting yes on 8 will NOT take away any of the rights that same sex couples currently have under civil unions and domestic partnerships. But it will take away many of our rights as parents. Please take a few moments to read the information below, and view the videos attached. I know that this proposition is controversial, and that we all, including myself, may have family members and / or close friends who are homosexual. But as parents, we need to make sure we are comfortable with the consequences that this will have on us and our children. I hope I am not offending you by sending this letter. I only mean to educate you on the subject before you cast your vote.

What is Proposition 8? It’s a proposition containing the same 14 words that were previously approved in the year 2000 by over 61% of California voters: “Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.” This was overturned by california judges last spring. If you vote YES on Prop 8, you are in favor of marriage being defined as between a man and a woman. If you vote NO on Prop 8, you are in favor of same sex marriage. It seems simple. It may seem discriminatory. But there are some very interesting consequences you need to consider.

I have talked with several people who are undecided or against Proposition 8. Several of these people didn’t realize that gay couples already have “rights” through civil unions and domestic partnerships. Voting YES on Prop 8 does not change any of the rights of same sex couples. I'm sure most of you, like me, fully value the civil rights of same sex couples. They already have all of the same rights and equality as heterosexual couples. Homosexual couples would gain ONLY a title of being "married" rather than partners. However, the people who I spoke with didn’t realize that a No on Prop 8 means they will be giving up some of their own personal parental rights, free speech rights, and some religious freedoms and churches' rights.

I am voting YES on Prop 8 because the consequences of not doing so include a significant impact on religious and personal freedom – of which our Country was founded upon. Let me explain with a few examples from states and country that have allready let this pass...

Prop 8 = Parental Rights:

• The California Education Code provides that students from Kindergarten on up be taught about marriage. I feel these issues should be left to the discretion of parents to teach. If Prop 8 fails, our children will be taught that gay marriage is equal to traditional marriage. Here's Massachusetts and San Francisco--real life examples:

• In Massachusetts (where gay marriage was legalized 4 years ago), a kindergartner is sent home (without parental notice) with a "diversity" book bag that includes picture books describing gay couples and relationships. When the parents went to the administration and insisted that they be notified when the subject of gay marriage was to be taught, they were denied that right. When they went further and refused to leave the administration offices until they had this accommodation, the father was arrested. A Massachusetts court later held that schools have no obligation to notify parents when teaching about gay marriage. See the video: http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1784521903
• In Massachusetts, a second grader comes home telling the story about two princes getting married. When the parents investigated, they found that the teacher had read from a picture book--complete with the princes falling in love (hearts fluttering!), and kissing. No parental notification was required or given. See the above video, and the following ad: https://www.icontribute.us/protectmarriage/initiative/fieldtrip
• Last Friday, a first grade public school class in San Francisco went on a school-sponsored field trip to view their gay teacher's wedding. See article at http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/10/11/MNFG13F1VG.DTL

Prop 8 = Free Speech:

• An employee of the City of Oakland was threatened with termination for using the terms "natural family, marriage and family values" in a public forum for co-workers. The City claimed that such language constituted "statements of a homophobic nature" and promoted "sexual-orientation-based harassment," and threatened to terminate the employees. The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals held that "administrative efficiency in a government office is more important than free speech." (The Good News Employees Association v. City of Oakland)
• In Canada, one of six countries where gay marriage is legal, the Alberta Human Rights Commission prevailed in its action against a minister for "hate speech" for reading and teaching from the pulpit what the Bible says about homosexuality.

Prop 8 = Religious Freedom:

• In Massachusetts, the Catholic Church had a very strong and effective adoption agency that was especially effective at placing "hard-to-place" children. Massachusetts refused to renew adoption agency licensing to the Catholic Charities unless it changed its religion-based stance against placing children with same-sex couples. As a result, Catholic Charities no longer functions in Massachusetts. The victims? Institutional religious freedom; and the hard to place children.
• In New Jersey, a Methodist organization lost its tax exempt status because it refused to allow a same sex couple to solemnize their civil union in the building where the Methodist organization holds its religious ceremonies.
• See also bullet points under "Free Speech", above.

Prop 8 = Less Government and Retain Freedoms:

• As noted above, the government: (i) through the school system is imposing its values on our young students; (ii) is restricting free speech re: "natural family, marriage and family values" in the workplace; and (iii) is mandating to whom religious adoption agencies must offer to place children.
• Only weeks ago, the California Supreme Court held in a case involving a lesbian woman seeking artificial insemination, that doctors do not have the right to refuse to provide even nonessential care to patients, even when: (i) the procedure sought conflicted with deeply-held religious beliefs; and (ii) treatment from other doctors was readily available (and was in fact readily provided).
• Similarly, a same sex couple in Albuquerque, NM asked a photographer to shoot their commitment ceremony. The photographer declined, saying that her Christian beliefs prevented her from using her God-given artistic talents to sanction or promote same-sex unions. Notwithstanding the fact that there were many other well-qualified photographers willing to work with the couple, the couple sued, and the New Mexico Human Rights Commission (the government) found the photographer guilty of discrimination.
• Freedom of religion; freedom of association; freedom of conscience; freedom of artistic expression—all abrogated. If this can happen to a doctor; if this can happen to a photographer…then it can happen to a lawyer; to a cake maker; to a therapist….to a minister.

These are just a few examples. Passing Proposition 8 will not cure all of these problems--but will help in many cases, and will stop the trend in others.

I know there may be some of you who don't see it the way I do. I respect all of you as friends and peers no matter what. I also respect homosexual and heterosexual people equally because we are ALL human beings no matter what our sexual preference, and we are taught by a loving God to "love one another." However, above all I love my children and will stand up for those things that will have a significant impact on their futures and ultimate happiness. I hope my feelings on this matter have helped you see from a mother's perspective why I feel it is vitally important to vote YES on Prop 8. For me, this is not about discrimination, but about holding true to important values and principles.

Respectfully,

Laura Carlin

P.S. two more great videos: http://www.protectmarriage.com/video, http://www.catholicvote.com/




Peace and love,
TOR